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Post by Felix on Dec 12, 2011 13:15:37 GMT -5
Welcome! To Neinescape Hospital, where your suffering means a lot to us! We provide a safe, remote environment where our patients are not bothered by disruptions due to visitors, including but not restricted to, family members, friends, lawyers, social workers, or law enforcement! All of our staff are adequately trained to fit your needs *coughnotreallycough* and our main priority is our patients comfort! (If you like restraints this is the place for you!) Whether you’re an adult or a child, have a paper cut or multiple personality disorder this is the hospital for you! All of our staff are on duty 24/7, the nurses are all in adorable uniforms, the doctors all do their best to heal and you have no hopes of escape-I MEAN you can hope to heal! We have the most up to date technology, an advanced meal plan (mainly tomatoes, churros, and pasta) and plenty of drugs to supply even the most unruly psycho!
If you don’t wish to be admitted as a patient, and instead you find yourself looking for a job, if you expect to be paid MONEY then you can turn around right now! Our staff are paid bare minimum slave wages, usually in food! They are very happy and usually work under a specific doctor and always dedicate themselves to their patients!
Here is an example of our wonderful up to date technology! All of our patients are securely strapped into their beds and not released without permission from our head doctor, Doctor Awesome! The restraints allow our patients the utmost comfort of their beds while making sure they don't fall out or escape in a fashion that allows them to run free in the hospital!
Thank you for considering our hospital, remember you'll never leave!
To convince you further of our hospitals dedication to your comfort a staff list is provided!
- Doctor Awesome..........General Surgeon
- Nurse Vee..........Registered Nurse
- Doctor Boss..........Pediatrician
- Nurse Chigi..........Registered Nurse
- Doctor Francis..........Gynecologist&&Urologist
- Doctor Hero..........Drug Administrator
- Nurse Who..........Registered Nurse
If you have any questions, please don't be afraid to ask!
Hear what our patients are saying about Neinescape!
"Don't toss me in the psychiatric ward! I swear the fairies are real! Can't you see them!?!? The Loch Ness Monster is swimming in the pond outside! LOOK! It's right there! I'm not crazy! I swear on the Queen's life that frog is feeding you lies!! GET ME OUT OF THIS BLOODY STRAIGHT JACKET!!!"
~England
"Dr Awesome thank you so much for removing my appendix you saved my life you are so awesome! But as grateful as I am for your treatment, it's been 2 weeks since I got the appendectomy. When can I go home?"
~Patient in Room 392
"I came to Neinescape to get my tonsils removed and woke up with one of my kidneys missing. Thanks a LOT Dr Awesome!!"
~Patient in room 201
"HELP ME!!!!!"
~Germany Room
As you can see there is nothing but praise
and contentment from those who have been
admitted here at Neinescape! So welcome,
and enjoy your stay!
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